Hey, you blushing bride! Carly here.
Every week I’ll be dishing on things we’ve learned going into our 8th year of shooting weddings.
As the title of this series declares, I love our brides. Like, LOVE THEM. I love becoming friends with them, and I love being part of the planning process before their big day. If we’re your photographers, you’ll spend more time with us than anyone on your wedding day. Because of that, we’ve been trusted to see the inner workings of many a wedding.
For most of our couples, this is their first time getting married. It’s not all common sense how a wedding should go, what to expect, what to avoid, and how to deal with issues that arise. When you’re one of our brides you’ll receive our Bride Guide including some of the tips I’ll post here, but whether we’re shooting your wedding or not, I’d love to share a few things we’ve learned along the way.
Feel free to comment with your own tips!
Happy planning, beautiful!
Carly
Fast links:
BLOCK OFF YOUR RECEPTION
SOAK IT IN
FOR THE FELLAS
TAKE IT TIMES TWO
BURN THE BOX
A LITTLE SPEECH TIP
HOW TO SAVE THE DAY
FALSIFY ONE THING
BRIDEZILLA ANTIDOTE
PINTEREST PROBZ
ASSIGN A PINNER
UNPLUG YOUR WEDDING
HOP ON A PLANE
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BLOCK OFF YOUR RECEPTION
You’ve spent months piecing together the perfect touches for your wedding. Great job! It’s stunning, you awesome bride! In the whirlwind of the day, you may not have a chance to fully take in how beautiful everything looks all set up. Photographers get giddy taking gorgeous detail photos for you to drool over later. Somehow, people wandering in the background kills the magazine vibe we hope to achieve, so blocking off that area for a short amount of time does wonders.
TIP:
Block off your reception area for 10-15 minutes after your ceremony.
A few ways to actually make this happen:
Option A. Have your host couple leave right as you kiss. They can stand outside your reception area and direct people with big smiles for a few minutes.
Option B. Before your pastor dismisses your guests from the ceremony, have them say, “No need to rush to the reception just yet! The decor is being photographed for the next 15 minutes.”
Option C. Make a cute sign.
As the photographer, I don’t mind asking 2-5 people if they could step aside for a few minutes, but I’m not about to boss a crowd around. :)
Here’s to pretty detail photos without Uncle Norm in the background! (No offense to my Uncle Norm.)
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SOAK IT IN
When people ask us for wedding advice, Amos always says, “Take snapshots in your mind during your wedding day. Intentionally remember moments.”
Months of plans being made, dresses being chosen, and showers being thrown culminate in one day of pure awesomeness. One day that goes by in a blur (albeit a wonderful, organized blur since you are a bride who’s on top of it).
Looking back at your wedding photos will help you remember these moments, which is why choosing the right photographer matters. But put aside the competent memory-capturing professional, step back a few times and intentionally soak in that very moment, and just how wonderful it is.
My guess is you’ll want to re-live your wedding day one billion times. It’ll be that great.
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FOR THE FELLAS
Baggy suits take away from the sophisticated look of a bride’s well-fitted dress. Keep it dapper, and publication-worthy, by opting for a slimmer-fitting suit. Tip: instead of renting, buy. The fit will be superior and you’ll spend about the same amount.
Change “has a career” to “looking dapper and about to get hitched”.
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TAKE IT TIMES TWO
How long does it take you to get ready on a normal day? Take that times 2 or 3, and you have my estimation of how long it’ll take you to get ready on your wedding day. And that’s totally acceptable. You want to look your best – it’s your wedding day and these photos are going to last a lifetime!
Typically, we take 30-60 minutes of “getting ready photos” before the First Look. When we arrive, our bride is in the “finishing touches” stage (but not in her dress yet). I take photos of all the pretties (dress, shoes, flowers, jewelry), then some candids of the bride getting into her dress and putting on the rest of the pretties. Then we’re off the the First Look!
We always build extra time into our schedules for any hiccups that may arise, so a bride running a little late is NOTABIGDEAL. But the feelings that accompany running late are never desirable. Give yourself plenty of time so you can relax, enjoy yourself and not feel rushed. Allow time for unforeseen inconveniences.
Again, happy brides are the best!
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BURN THE BOX
Let’s not think outside the box. Let’s burn that mother to the ground.
Looking back, the things I would change about my wedding aren’t monumental. I have nothing but good feels surrounding that day. Amos saying “I do” means I won. He’s pretty great. I’ll keep him forever. But I do wish I would’ve thought more creatively. Now that I’ve experienced more weddings than most (non-wedding vendor) people might in a lifetime, I think, Man, I could’ve made that tons sweeter with the same amount of effort, simply by erasing the “shoulds”.
Let’s question some things.
Should I get married in a church? You know I love Jesus, but memo: He’s everywhere.
What about reception venues? Can we all agree the days of having hotel receptions are over? Rent an amusement park. Invade an airplane hangar. Book a trendy restaurant. Use your uncle’s loft. Block off an alley and make it your wedding venue.
Should I serve a traditional dinner? What about a food truck? How about a dessert bar?
Should my bridesmaids wear matching dresses? What if they wear a dress they found at H&M? Or how about any gray dress from anywhere? Let’s pause for a moment of honesty: no one wears bridesmaids dresses again (unless it’s something they pick out).
Should I wear a long dress? Why did I wear a long dress? I never wore long dresses around the time I got married (maxi dresses weren’t a “thing” yet).
Notice the “shoulds”? Let’s replace them with “do I want to?”.
Question the norm. Question what’s “expected”. I hereby free you from tradition!
Join me by the fire pit where I’ll be burning the box.
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A LITTLE SPEECH TIP
Today’s tip isn’t for brides + grooms, but the lovely maid of honor + best man. Undoubtedly, you will have to give a speech. I know the feeling – I’ve been a maid of honor a couple of times. (Ok, “matron” of honor…but that word is so ugly.) Even though I love the opportunity to gush about how amazing my friends are, giving a speech made me want to projectile vomit all over every wedding guest.
97% of speeches we’ve heard start this way: “For those of you who don’t know me…” We thought this phrase only followed us around until we saw another photographer post about it on Facebook. Ha! I’ll keep our tip to you nice and simple: Don’t start your speech this way. :) Beyond that, I’m positive there are other people on the interwebs more qualified to give you speech pointers.
Funniest speech we’ve heard? ”Hey, I’m Matt! I’ve heard the best man’s speech shouldn’t last longer than the groom will in bed tonight, so have a great night, everyone!” Sits down.
^ A cute dad enjoying a funny speech. :)
Don’t vomit. You’ve got this.
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HOW TO SAVE THE DAY
Speaking from personal experience on our wedding day, our 1st look was a wonderful decision. I can still remember the butterflies (er, more like violent birds) in my stomach when Amos and I saw each other for the first time. It was a cherished moment I still remember vividly. I felt free to openly express myself, not trying to hold it together in front of our guests. (Confession: I’m an ugly crier. There’s no way around it.) We loved the chance to talk a little and be still together, just the two of us, before the day took off. The 1st look cleared my head so I could fully enjoy and soak in everthing. I may have died (I’m not dramatic…) had I waited until 5:00 to see Amos. A 1st look allowed us to spend our whole wedding day together and it certainly didn’t take away anything from seeing him at the end of the aisle. We had the excitement of TWO 1st looks! I remember it – Amos waiting there, my dad crying, all our wonderful guests watching. (Yes, I’m crying RIGHT NOW. Shut up.)
From a photography standpoint, a 1st looks lends itself to a laid-back day because there won’t be a rush to do all the portraits in between the ceremony and reception. We’ll have more time to capture the reason we’re there: you two! More awesome photos of you and your man equals winning. I can’t recommend a 1st look enough. Additionally, your guests won’t have to twiddle their thumbs for 2 hours after the ceremony while you take photos.
Fun fact: Waiting to see the bride until the ceremony is a tradition that started with arranged marriages. Since the couple never met before their wedding day, this tradition was instated to keep the groom from running away if he didn’t fancy his bride-to-be’s looks upon seeing her for the first time.
All of this said, we’re completely on board with whatever our brides decide. Do what makes YOU happy!
Happy brides are the best kind. :)
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FALSIFY ONE THING
False eyelashes add a swoon-worthy pop to photos. I’m in lovvvvvve with them! They add extra contrast to make eyes catch in a photo.
Of all the lashes I’ve tried, these are my favorite (and this glue is great) :
Opposed to some that are a little “hooker-ish”, these lashes are natural-looking. I like that they aren’t straight/blunt at the ends. I go to Wal-Mart only in “I-can’t-find-this-anywhere-else” emergencies. That’s where you’ll find these. Eyelash Emergency.
I recommend having a make-up artist for your wedding day, but be sure to try out false lashes beforehand so you can master application (if needed) and get used to the feel of them. At first, your eye will feel like bird wings, but I promise you get used to it quickly. :)
A few tips:
• Trim the band so the lashes aren’t as wide as your eyelid.
• Position the lashes on the outer half of your upper lash line. This will prevent you from looking like a Furby (as I did the first time I tried falsies).
• You’ll want to get the lashes as close to your lash line as possible, along with your eyeliner.
You’re going to look gorg no matter what, but this is my favorite make-up tip!
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BRIDEZILLA ANTIDOTE
I call myself a laid-back Type A. Once I have a concise, well-laid out plan, I can then relax. :) I find the same is true for our brides.
People often ask if we deal with Bridezillas. We happily (and honestly) answer, “No!” On top of the fact that our brides are rock star fun-havers, we firmly believe having a schedule in place for the wedding day is a big reason we don’t have stressed brides. Lots of e-mailing is done back and forth with our brides weeks/months before their wedding to nail down the perfect flow for their day. The schedule isn’t rigid, it’s relaxation-giving.
Once your schedule is solidified, print off 1,000 (pocket-sized) copies, complete with locations & addresses, and give it to every breathing organism at your rehearsal. Everyone knows where to be and when. Our brides let all their peeps know the plan, and then Amos and I take it upon ourselves to keep everything rolling once photos start. We don’t want our couples looking at their watches when they should be enjoying themselves, making out, and oh yeah, GETTING MARRIED.
The schedule is your best friend, you fun-loving bride!
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PINTEREST PROBZ
I went to Pinterest and typed in “wedding decor”. As you may imagine, this produced approximately 4 billion images, most of which were old books, bird cages, mason jars, old suitcases & vintage everything.
You may be a totally modern bride who loves clean lines and bright pops of color. You may love a classy, simplistic look. Then you enter Pinterest World where everything is shabby chic and vintage, and you end up with burlap decor at your wedding. You may look back and wonder why your wedding represented a current trend, and not your actual taste.
Before diving into Pinterest, I encourage you to have the style of your wedding already defined. If you have trouble pinpointing that, do some investigating. What’s the decor in your house like? Where do you shop? What color do you love to wear? After all, this is about YOU and your awesomeness! Enter Pinterest with your own eye, and use it as storage & organization for your ideas. When I put together my wedding boards, I knew I was looking for modern, clean & gutsy. I shop at Ikea and CB2. I love white, gray & black with pops of color. I like funny & weird. Ended up I really didn’t find much inspiration on Pinterest. Even typing in “modern wedding” will leave you with a lot of things to weed out. I ventured off Pinterest and pinned from other sites to find what I actually like.
As far Pinterest’s influence on wedding photography, this post by another photographer on the subject is SPOT on. I want to kiss it. http://blog.troygrover.com/a-photographers-perspective-on-pinterest/
Here’s to a unique wedding that represent YOU!
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ASSIGN A PINNER
“I’ll just slap that boutineer on,” you might think. Turns out it practically takes an engineering degree to make a little flower lay nicely against a man’s bosom, and takes 5-10 times longer than anticipated. Groomsmen often show up to wedding party photos without their bouts on, so 15 of the 30 minutes scheduled for wedding party photos are eaten up by pinning.
Assign someone to pin on all the guys’ flowers at least 15 minutes before photos start. I’ll let you in on a little secret. 99 of 100 males do not know how to pin on boutineers. Can you blame them? It’s hard! (I can’t even do it!) So the assigned pinner should probably be a lady, like an aunt who can pin in her sleep. :)
It’s the little things that can cause stress on a wedding day. Here’s to nipping them in the bud (pun intended)!
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UNPLUG YOUR WEDDING
What does this mean? No phones or cameras during the ceremony (besides your photographers’ cameras…der!). It would be tacky to post examples here, but I cannot even tell you how many times a well-meaning, camera-wielding wedding guest is in the background of the photo of the bride walking down the aisle with her tearful dad. Additionally, phones ringing/beeping/whistling during weddings is pretty common.
We all have that aunt who takes photos with her iPad, which is fine (or is it…), but asking her to tuck it away during your ceremony is totally reasonable.
This is how one of our brides, Kristin, dealt with this issue ever-so-gracefully:
Your wedding is something your guests want to remember, so promise to share your professional photos with them!
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HOP ON A PLANE
Even though our brides are, across the board, very laid-back I still feel for every single one of them while they plan their wedding. It’s stressful even for chill brides because OHMYGOSHTHEREISALOTTOFIGUREOUT. A ton of couples we talk to wish they would’ve skipped the stress and jet setted. After the “Burn The Box” post where we questioned norms and traditions, I was led back to why I love destination weddings.
1 • STRESS KILLER
Destination weddings leave you with much less to figure out, and therefore, less stress. Dinner for 400 people? Nope. Limo? Nope. Corsages for your 25 aunts? Nope. Just pick your destination and dates and let your peeps know the plan so they have the option to join you.
2 • SAVE SOME BLING
In 2013, the average wedding in the US cost $28,427. That number doesn’t surprise me – it all adds up pretty quickly. You could probably get married in Fiji, stay for 2 months and have the freaking time of your life for that price. Or go to Fiji for 2 weeks and use the leftover money to love our world!
3 • IT’S MEMORABLE
A whole week, opposed to one day, of making memories with your man and your loved ones in an exotic locale equals winning. It’s a no-brainer. Your little group is going to remember this trip forever.
4 • LOCATION OPTIONS
Five of your friends got married this year and you probably don’t want a wedding identical to theirs. Enter: awesome destinations! If you’re like us, traveling is your favorite. Where shall you go? The world is your oyster, dear bride! Close your eyes and point to a spot on a map. Now go get married there. I dare you.
5 • COMBINE WEDDING AND HONEYMOON
You’re already in paradise! Makes a whole lot of sense to honeymoon in this awesome destination you’ve chosen.
